Silver and Sunbathing

Of Spots and Marks

If I could play connect-the-dots with my life, what picture would I end up with? I guess it doesn't really matter now so long as I look out for and embrace the bright spots that come my way.

This week was no exception and I find myself humbled with gratitude for little nudges from the Universe to write, to share my small voice, and to put myself out there. Actually, I think they've been more than nudges... more like whacks in the head. :-)

This week's bright (purple) spots:

• I submitted a 2-page proposal to present a personal project at a conference. My heart did a little somersault when I saw the call for papers in my inbox and a backflip when I realized I had less than a week before the deadline. But thanks to input and comments from amazing people, I managed to draft, revise, and submit something just in time. It could be the spark that I need to quit procrastinating and get back into my writing. More details coming soon... if my proposal is accepted!
• Mama called me this afternoon to tell me she ran into my summer school teacher who still remembers me after more than 25 years! She taught me and Ate Kim speed reading and creative writing (yes, we were nerdy kids) which helped plant creative seeds and dreams in a 7- or 8-year-old Nikki. Papa said she probably remembered me as the class clown, haha! I'd like to send her a note of thanks.
• Thanks to my parish, a friendly priest came to visit tonight who not only blessed my new apartment, but also prayed for my hopes and dreams. We had a nice chat about cartoons, work-life balance, and stories. I gave him a copy of my book and he said it reminded him of a wonderful storybook he read years ago: The Dot by Peter H. Reynolds. I quickly Googled it and got a lump in my throat. It was exactly what I needed to hear: "Just make a mark and see where it takes you."

And the week's not over yet! :-) I could seriously feel myself shushing my inner critic and asking her to stand in the corner. It's about time I did!

What "dot" or mark will I make? Where will it take me? Stay tuned.

A Bright Blue Spot in Hong Kong

It was my first time in Hong Kong last week for a business trip and I extended my stay over the weekend so I could explore Asia's World City. Often compared to Singapore, my colleague shared that Hong Kong is much more "authentic". What did she mean?

A map helped me navigate through the streets around the Sheung Wan and Central area (well, most of the time! I still enjoyed getting lost...) and after a few hours, I think I sort of understand what she meant. The busy and uneven sidewalks; the narrow alleys packed with stalls of trinkets; the rundown buildings next to contemporary galleries, artsy cafés, and antique shops; the hole-in-the-wall noodle shops with long queues. It was gritty and rushed and bustling with crowds. The city had a unique pulse worth experiencing - but I didn't stay long enough to embrace it or to call it a home-away-from-home.

I definitely played tourist for the weekend yet took comfort in seeing a paperclip in a strange place. Unlike Singapore where I've seen mostly silver ones, my paperclip in Hong Kong was bright blue. That sure adds another point for Authenticity!

Two Weeks Late But Still Overwhelmed

I'm so glad I made it back for the 2-day Asian Writers' and Illustrators' Conference of the Asian Festival of Children's Content (AFCC). And yes, this post is two weeks late. No excuses but that crazy back-to-work period.

It was an overwhelming three days - overwhelming in a good way though! There are so many thoughts and ideas swimming in my head but for now, here are some photos and highlights:


Day 1: It was really awesome reconnecting with Isabel "Pepper" Roxas, my teacher for a Writing and Illustrating for Kids elective in Ateneo more than 10 years ago. I told her how she and that class really helped inspire me to get into this wonderful world of children's books. Seeing her now as a successful illustrator and artist based in Brooklyn continues to be an inspiration. I also got to meet the super-animated and friendly Candy Gourlay, award-winning Filipina writer based in London. I really enjoyed the stories she shared on her journey to be a best-selling author of Tall Story - and I can't wait to read her book!

With Award-Winning Author Candy Gourlay
The Amazing Noel Cabangon
With Festival Manager Kenneth
Awesome Skyline from The National Library's 16th Floor Pod

Day 2: Thanks to Pepper and Franny Ong of Tahanan Books, I got to meet Leonard Marcus, our keynote speaker, and THE children's book historian, critic and author who flew in from New York City just for the AFCC. I sat across him as we hung out by the Singapore River for drinks and we had a nice chat about Pittsburgh. So yes, I rediscovered my inner fangirl, and yes, I shared a copy of my book with him. [Sheepish smile.] I'm thrilled just thinking that The Yellow Paperclip is somewhere in NYC with him... though probably buried under a mountain of other books. :-)

With Teacher Pepper | With Leonard Marcus 
Noel performing in The Arts House
Hanging out with Franny and Pepper 

Day 3: I decided last-minute to sign up for a Masterclass on Editing Children's Books: Turning Your Manuscript into a Bestseller with Alvina Ling of Little, Brown and Sarah Odedina of Hot Key Books. And I'm so glad I did! They gave a lot of great practical advice and tips, and having several short writing exercises really pushed me beyond my comfortable world of writing copy for work. Of course, the approval-dependent writer in me (in all of us?) was thrilled to hear their positive comments on my pieces. Now comes the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity: I have three months to prepare and send a manuscript to them. Oh, by the way... Sarah just happened to publish all of Harry Potter and she's on a first-name basis with "Jo" Rowling and Neil Gaiman. Wow! Eeeep! [Gushes.] 

Yes, it was overwhelming but in an awesome way. Though it has only been a few years since my last project, I had felt so displaced from the world of children's books. Being at the Conference felt like some sort of homecoming: reassuring in how familiar it was, but scary-exciting in the new and not knowing what to expect next. 

My little journal from the three days has all these random notes from the different talks I went to and I'll share some of them in a separate post. But for now, I'll leave you with one of my favorites (that struck right at the heart of this perfectionist!) from Australian illustrator James Foley: 

Your words or pictures don't have to be perfect but they should be truthful and playful.

Come and See the Festival

As I sit here at O'Hare waiting for my flight, I am really looking forward to the Asian Festival of Children's Content 2012... that starts 9 hours after I land at Changi Airport from my 5-week U.S. trip!
I've seen and read about the Festival for the last few years but have not been able to attend because of work commitments. This year, I really feel the need to be there. It would have been so easy to extend my stay in Pittsburgh (I was starting to get used to my routine!) but I knew I would feel bad if I missed the Festival yet again. I'm glad my managers and colleagues are supportive of my decision. This is a great example of work-life balance at play!

"Come and you will see," is and will be my theme for the rest of the year. Let's see what the Festival has in store!

Today is World Storytelling Day

In celebration of World Storytelling Day today, here's a song about Why We Tell the Story, from one of my favorite stories.

Life is why 

We tell the story 

Pain is why 

We tell the story 

Love is why 

We tell the story 

Grief is why 

We tell the story 

Hope is why 

We tell the story 

Faith is why 

We tell the story 

You are why 

We tell the story

Connecting the Bright Purple Spots

I recently wrote about Connecting the Dots and given how my life has been one happy conspiracy, it sometimes feels like I'm connecting a lot of Bright Purple Spots instead.

I'm glad I went to the critique group of the Singapore chapter of the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI). I was introduced to the group back in Manila where we had regular meet-ups to review books and stories. I never signed up as a member (I probably couldn't afford it back then!) and it gradually fell away and off my radar. Until I met Kenneth, the Festival Manager for the Asian Festival for Children's Content at the recent talk on the Wondrous World of Errol le Cain. It was great to meet fellow writers and storytellers, and I look forward to getting to know the group better, learning from them, and exchanging stories. If I can't take up my MFA in Creative Writing just yet, at least being in the company of creative writers is a really good start!

The bright spots continue: The Yellow Paperclip with Bright Purple Spots traveled to the Bologna Children's Book Fair today with Kenneth, who offered to bring my books with him as I recently signed up as a SCWBI member (finally!) and he will showcase members' works at the Fair. Wow! Of course it was unfortunate that I didn't have copies in Singapore of Khan: A Teacher of Everything and The Lucky Doctor from the Great Men and Women of Asia Children's Series. As I worked on my member profile on the SCWBI site, I felt giddy yet happy knowing I was in the company of so many amazing and accomplished writers and illustrators. Wow again!

Though I know my book is but one of thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of books in that fair, just the thought of my book being out there, with the possibility of being read and rediscovered at THE children's book fair in the whole wide world (and space), is enough for me to feel happy and giddy again, and yes, oh-so-grateful. For a few moments tonight, soon after I said goodbye to Ken on the train, I had that wonderful, unmistakable feeling that things were falling into place, that the dots were connecting, and that I was exactly where I was meant to be. Of course until my inner critic brought me back to reality. (Why are we writers so hard on ourselves? Then again, I'd rather be hard on myself than full of myself. Hee-hee.)

Whatever happens, I think SCBWI definitely gets a bright purple spot in the story of my life... and hopefully it connects to yet another one someday.

A Wondrous World Indeed

Click here to browse through the wondrous world of Errol le Cain. (Yes, at least 60,000 gorgeous images on Google!) It's a dreamy world I would happily get lost in.

I received an invitation from the Singapore Book Council for an afternoon talk at the National Library on The Wondrous Art World of Errol le Cain. Since I've been meaning to visit the library for many months (er, years!) and had nothing scheduled on a Saturday afternoon, I figured: I know nothing about Errol le Cain, but why not?

My friend Cam and I were amazed with his artwork. A wondrous world of color, swirls, and patterns. All that detail. An amazing take on classic fairy tales like Sleeping Beauty, King Arthur's Sword, and our all-time favorite, The Twelve Dancing Princesses. What a wondrous world indeed created by this prolific illustrator, but unfortunately, many people don't know him and his artwork, or that he was born in Singapore and established himself as an artist in the United Kingdom. Even more unfortunate for most of us is the fact that all of his books are out of print... though some are available online for a few thousand dollars! Visit www.errollecain.com for more about his life and works.

On another note, I think I got another major nudge from the Universe. I met the Festival Manager for the upcoming Asian Festival of Children's Content that will be hosted here in Singapore this May (which I am hoping to be able to attend!) and he also heads up the Society for Children's Book Writers and Illustrators. He invited me to their upcoming meet-up. Yaaay! Eeeeeep! (Yes, thrilled and anxious and everything in between.)

Getting My Voice Back

A few weeks ago, I read this beautiful blog post on How I Got My Voice Back and it definitely hit a soft spot. I had asked myself: How can I get my voice back? How do I start writing again?

Last week, I ran into Jo who I met in a class I signed up for in 2009 called Finding God in Your Writing. I shared this blog with her and she sent me a message: Just visited your blog. Well done. A pity not to use your gift. (Thank you, Jo!)

Last night, I joined her and other writers for a couple of hours to write and rediscover how God works in our lives through the gift of writing and sharing. We had five prompts to respond to and we were given five minutes to write, preferably without any rude interruption from our inner editor or critic.

It was a joy to see my messy handwriting again and a few pages of my well-ignored Moleskine coming to life. I initially felt shy sharing what I wrote but their smiles and nods were encouraging (how approval dependent we writers are!). By the third round, I had to have a heart-to-heart talk with my inner critic: So what if I sound shallow or like I'm just rambling? I know I can't write poems but that's okay. Just write what comes naturally to you, you're not here to impress or seek approval. You have a story to tell so just write and stop thinking, stop over-analyzing. So what if others don't like it or get it. Just write for yourself. Write because you love it.

My inner critic shrugged it off then walked away. I continued to write.

***

Prompt: Nothing that you write is wasted because it all contributes to your growth as a writer.

And when a writer writes nothing, then a gift is wasted. It took me a while, and I sometimes still hesitate, to say that I'm a writer. I have been writing since I was a young child: love letters to my parents, projects for my creative writing summer class, mini novels with my best friend in grade school. Newsletters. Yearbook write-ups. Ten-page essays. My journals. Children's stories. This blog and other blogs I started and abandoned. Research reports. Copy for marketing collateral. A chapter on leadership. So much has been written, so much has been said, a few have even been published.

And when I stopped writing for myself as I did last year, I felt like a part of me stopped. I stopped sharing. I stopped giving. I stopped growing.

Writers write for themselves but writers also write to share, to give, to grow.

Writers write.

And tonight, I write.

***

It's not much and there's a long way to go, but I think it was a good first step to getting my voice back.

Thank You for the gift of words.

Connecting the Dots

I have not written much in the last year, and I think it made a huge difference. I tried to start a 365-word-a-day blog project. I said I'd find a publisher for a new piece of work. I said I would write in my journal more. But I procrastinated. I stalled. I thought I could catch up. I shelved it. I spent too much time at work. I ran away from it. I failed. Boo. Blah. Writers write, I told myself; and since I stopped, I really let myself down. 

And the days of blah-ness stretched to weeks... and months... and... no, I don't want to feel like this anymore. So I will start writing again. Even if it's just a few words here, and a few more words in my journal. A few lines today, an article tomorrow; who knows, maybe another picture book by the end of the year.

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it. - Paulo Coelho

I believe that God allows the Universe to conspire with the dreamer. He provides signs that lead us (back) to our deepest desires, especially when we're teetering over the edge or veering away from where we need to go. He sends little nudges that remind us to dream again and to trust with a childlike heart, even if we can't quite make out the road in front of us. 

In the last two weeks...

• I got an email asking if I would be agreeable to convert one of my books into an e-book
• I found out that one of my books sold more than 2,000 copies in the last four years
• I met a fellow TCK who chanced upon this blog some time ago and remarked, "But you stopped writing!"
• I went to a dear friend's photo exhibit where I ran into a nice lady who used to host these writing sessions; she scheduled a meet-up on Monday so we could all start writing again
• I was invited to be featured in a magazine for tweens as part of International Book Day in April

Wow. You think Someone is telling me something?

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. - Steve Jobs

My life has been one big happy conspiracy so far and I don't think the Universe will let up just yet. I just have to once again trust in the goodness of signs and have faith that my God always knows what's best for me even if, or especially when, I can't seem to connect the dots.

Lost and Found in Los Angeles

A Pink Paperclip in Bangkok

Lost and Found

When I first saw the site, I promised to myself that I will share my story for the TCK Book Project. Today is the deadline and I just sent in 993 words of 100% Nikki. Whether or not they choose my story, it was a joy to find myself lost in the art of writing again and in articulating my TCK story for the first time.

My quote for the day, borrowed from the comedian Steve Martin: "I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper."

Rediscovery and Resolutions

I rediscovered my blog the other evening and enjoyed traveling through time re-reading my past entries. What a wonderful six years it has been. (I still can't believe it has been six years!)

I realized how much I miss blogging and told myself that I'll start again... especially since I should be able to post stuff via my iPhone. The last few months have been amazing and once again, I have so much back(b)log. Where do I start? Or is it better that I begin a new 365-day project in 2011?

I Was All Yellow

On the day I was wearing a yellow top and my happy yellow sandals, I came across this...


... my first yellow paperclip in Singapore! :-) Just when I thought things couldn't get better, the Universe gifts me with this happy sign. I am grateful.

The Fox and The Cat

The amazing May Ann Licudine and I collaborated once more for a funny version of the Grimm Brothers' The Fox and The Cat as part of the graphic novel anthology FRACTURED FABLES. It's a collection of familiar fairy tales and nursery rhymes... but with a twist! It promises to be "like NO fairy tale book you've ever read before"!

Fractured Fables was launched at the Comic Convention in San Diego last July 14 and I was absolutely thrilled to get my copy at Kinokuniya Bookstore here in Singapore just a week later!

Order your copy now at Amazon.com - http://www.amazon.com/Fractured-Fables-HC-Various/dp/1607062690

A Red Paperclip Saves the Day

Wow! I can't believe my luck - another colorful paperclip in Singapore! :-) Things are definitely getting better. This red paperclip keychain saved the day as it unlocked the cabinet where I had to get materials for a client project.

Not One, But Two!

I couldn't believe my eyes when I stepped out of church this morning. I saw not one, but TWO colorful paperclips... a green and an orange linked together! Where did they come from? Why were they linked? I don't have the answers but things are looking so much brighter now...

A Third Culture Paperclip

I had the honor of meeting Ruth Van Reken, author of Third Culture Kids: An Experience of Growing up Among Worlds, thanks to fellow Adult Third Culture Kids (ATCKs) here in Singapore. Fellow TCK Julia had told me about her book when I first visited her in San Diego in 2005. Reading her book was one of life's biggest a-ha!s: So that's why I'm different... I am a Third Culture Kid!

I had written The Yellow Paperclip with Bright Purple Spots a year earlier. It's pretty cool how the story is truly a TCK story at heart: a story about belonging, identity issues, diversity, and hellos and goodbyes. I gave Ruth a copy and I really hope that she enjoys my story.

Spending time with Ruth and the other ATCKs reminded me of an idea that was planted in my heart a few years ago: I want to write more stories for us Third Culture Kids! :-)

My Travel Buddy

My "seatmate" on the Amtrak from San Diego to Los Angeles... :-)