Rejected and Found

Poor paperclip. I wonder what you've been through? It was squeezed out of shape, with one of its ends sticking out sorely like a painful limb, caked in mud and dust. It must have been through a lot: where in the world has it been?

The more painful thing is, I'm sure I saw the same paperclip last week. But again, I chose to ignore it and refused to pick it up. Is it because of the way it looked? Is it because it was dirty? Perhaps. Yet it waited for me patiently. And I found it again.

Do we reject others on the basis of superficial characteristics or flaws too?

Happy to see Orange Again

I saw it yesterday but chose to ignore it. I felt bad that I did so I ended up looking for it this morning. And I saw the same orange paperclip! I actually felt happy to see it and so I decided to pick it up for my collection. I don't know why I ignored it in the first place. It was a nice bright orange. It was a little bent but still in one piece.

I know I've chosen to ignore things and people in my life when I know I shouldn't. Why do I do that? There are many reasons, I suppose: insecurities, fear of rejection, arrogance, pride. When we choose to ignore or hurt the people closest to us, I hope we can still "find" them tomorrow. Question is, will they still be there?

White Stands Out

I saw a white paperclip right next to the front tire as I got out of the car. It was the first thing I saw as I stepped out. The whiteness stood out in contrast to the grayness of the gravel. It really felt out-of-place; a paperclip really does not belong between pieces of gravel and stone. Yet it felt right because I saw it and took notice of it.

Does He Love Me?

"If I see a paperclip today, then he loves me," I whispered to myself, inspired by Audrey Tautou's character in the movie A Very Long Engagement. What a grand challenge to the Universe. I saw three paperclips today. Along the short walk from the parking lot to my office building, I saw a pointy pink one, a dusty yellow one, a terribly bent and out-of-shape white one. Does that mean he loves me thrice as much? I wonder.

This is not the first time I asked God for a sign. Once, at a retreat in Novaliches, I asked God for a sign if He could hear my prayers. I asked for a shooting star. In the pitch black sky, I saw three stars fall behind the mountains. I sank to my knees in prayer and my heart was silenced and humbled.

I know it's really silly to link paperclip sightings to grand things like love and God. But I still saw three today and I want to know what that could possibly mean in the bigger scheme of things.

Two Yellow Paperclips

Gang gave me two yellow paperclips today. A big one she picked up along East Avenue and a smaller one from The Powerplant in Rockwell. She had them in her bag for weeks and kept them until our get-together today. Sweet. Gang is a true friend. She sees and loves my little quirks. I don't think most of my friends would pick up paperclips on the street to give them to me. But Gang did. She's really "one of us": she's a Full Moon Friend and we can talk non-stop about any and all things. I wouldn't have it any other way.

One Paperclip a Day

"If I see a paperclip today," I whispered to myself on a particularly crazy day, "then everything will be okay."

I've been seeing at least one paperclip a day since then. No kidding. Some days I see two, or three, or even four. On the sidewalk. Along the driveway. By the ATM. Under my colleague's desk. In the parking lot. On the waiter's necktie. They're following me around. And I love it.

So I started picking them up. Now I want to tell their stories. Our stories.

I'm glad I wrote the story The Yellow Paperclip with Bright Purple Spots. I hope the Award is really a start to a great adventure.

It's 100% Real

Gang, my poetry teacher-turned-great one-of-us friends, helped to make my dream come true. With our Poetry for Non-Poets class last July, she got me to start seriously writing again. With a gift she gave me last Saturday night, she made real what until then was just something I had imagined in a story.

"It's not yet complete," she said, as she made me close my eyes and put out my hands. She dropped something heavy and cold and when I opened my eyes, there it was: a real Yellow Paperclip. "It's an interactive gift," she continued. "You have to put the Bright Purple Spots. I couldn't quite figure out how to put them on!"

I could hardly contain myself. I felt like a little girl squealing with delight. I carried it around the entire night: in the car, when we watched a play, while we had a late dinner and stopped for coffee at The Fort.

The very next day, I experimented and decided on punching holes through bright purple sticker paper. The holes made great Bright Purple Spots.


It's 100% real now: my Yellow Paperclip with Bright Purple Spots jumped out of my imagination, out onto pages of my journal, into words on a screen... and into the palm of my hand. Thanks, Tita Gang.

Becca Started this Great Paperclip Adventure

Meet Becca Carreon, my colleague Anna's 10-year-old daughter who helped me create and develop the stories behind The Yellow Paperclip with Bright Purple Spots. A week before the deadline of the 2005 PBBY-Salanga Prize, I asked what she thought of several stories I had in mind. Fish and flowers were boring; but when I asked her to trace the steps and adventures of a paperclip, her eyes lit up and she smiled. The light in her eyes told me I had a good story. In between giggles, we daydreamed and imagined where a paperclip could have come from and where it could travel to. I scribbled our ideas on a scrap piece of paper and used that to write my story.

Me, after daydreaming several scenes: "Becca, what color is this paperclip?" Becca's INSTANT and matter-of-factly answer: "Yellow." I love how she already saw our character in full color.

I can't help but thank the Universe for allowing our paths to cross at such a perfect time. Becca is a big bright purple spot in my life; she is also a central character in the story. Check out these spreads from the storybook...

I can't ever thank you enough, Becca! (Incidentally, it's also her 10th birthday today... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!)

The Yellow Paperclip with Bright Purple Spots

Have you ever seen a yellow paperclip with bright purple spots? Follow the adventure of the Yellow Paperclip with Bright Purple Spots as it makes friends, learns new things and travels to different places. You'll discover why it feels unique and a little out-of-place in a world of silver paperclips.

When was the last time you saw a paperclip?

You may have seen me the other day. I look different from most paperclips. I’m a little more colorful. And perhaps out-of-place.

Yes, you’re right! That’s me, sitting in the bowl of silver paperclips on your teacher’s desk.

Out of all the paperclips in the world, perhaps I’m the only yellow paperclip with bright purple spots. Do you know where I came from?

Before I was on your teacher’s desk, I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots on Mrs. David’s thank you note to your teacher. Your seatmate Paolo was having trouble with his spelling and your teacher gave him extra lessons after class. But do you know where I was before Mrs. David’s thank you note?

I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots holding the money Mr. David gave Mrs. David to buy bread, coffee, and a bag of jelly beans. After a long day at the office, he gave her the money and a big kiss and hug. But do you know where I was before Mr. David’s money?

I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots in an office with big glass windows, holding together a stack of reports from Mr. David’s boss, the Vice President of a large food company. But do you know where I was before Mr. David’s office?

I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots holding on to three photographs from the Vice President’s daughter, Gem. She gave him three photos from a recent trip to Norway: one picture of the mountains, the other of her favorite café, the third of a park she visited on her last day. But where was I before Gem’s photographs?

I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots sitting alone on a park bench in Norway. After a cold evening on a lonely bench, I was happy when Gem picked me up and clipped me to her photographs. But where was I before the park bench?

I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots on the tail of a paper airplane. Viktor, a little boy with big blue eyes and freckles across his nose, flew his paper airplane in his room, at the playground, and at the park. But where was I before Viktor’s paper airplane?

I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots on page 26 of a prayer book that belonged to Julia, Viktor’s older sister. The Book of Prayers was a gift from her grandma, reminding Julia to pray every night before bedtime. But where was I before page 26?

I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots in Julia’s grandmother’s silver hair. I kept Grandma Remy’s apple-shampooed hair in place when she baked cookies, read magazines, or napped in her rocking chair. But where was I before Grandma Remy’s shiny silver hair?

I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots holding Grandpa Neil’s newspaper clippings about cancer, its possible causes, research for cures, and stories of survivors. But where was I before Grandpa Neil’s newspaper clippings?

I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots, alone and lost on a sidewalk, watching people cross the street, sell newspapers, and hop on the bus. I was happy when Grandpa Neil picked me up on his way to the hospital. But where was I before the sidewalk?

I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots who traveled the world with Clarisse, a flight attendant who flew from Manila to Australia, to China, to Norway, to Egypt, and back to Manila again. I traveled with Clarisse’s passport where I kept her tickets and receipts until she lost me on a Norwegian sidewalk. But where was I before Clarisse’s passport?

I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots hanging from the neck of Becca, Clarisse’s favorite neice. I was the most colorful in Becca’s chain of paperclips. When Clarisse needed a paperclip, Becca gladly gave me to her favorite aunt. But where was I before Becca’s paperclip collection?

I was the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots sitting in a bowl of silver paperclips on a desk. One day, I heard a little girl ask, “Teacher, teacher, can I have this yellow paperclip with bright purple spots for my collection?”

It was Becca. She started my great adventure around the world. No wonder this bowl of silver paperclips looks familiar.

I am the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots who made your teacher smile with a thank you note. I shared money, worked in a big office, captured happy memories, slept on a park bench, and flew high on a paper airplane. I listened to prayers, smelled apple-shampooed hair, spent lonely nights alone on a sidewalk, and learned about cancer. I traveled around the world and was part of a special collection.

I am the yellow paperclip with bright purple spots linking you with your teacher, Mrs. David, Mr. David, the Vice President, Gem, Viktor, Julia, Grandma Remy, Grandpa Neil, Clarisse, Becca, and all the way back to your teacher again. I’ve met many interesting people, learned new things, and traveled to different places. Now I know why I feel different and more colorful in a bowl of silver paperclips.

The next time you need a paperclip, I hope you choose me—the strange, out-of-place yellow paperclip with bright purple spots.

I’m excited to start my next great adventure. Where will you take me?